I'm 26 weeks today, which means it's time to post this week's Come October, my weekly pregnancy project. And because I promised to post the story behind my baby's name, here's the (somewhat) simple form of it - although I really could talk forever.

Source: etsy.com via Trish on Pinterest

I met my best friend, Allen, my seventh grade year; he was the new kid and ended up being seated next to me in both English and Advisory (which was basically homeroom with a different name). It was probably the end of that school year that we started talking on the phone and otherwise being friendly outside of school, and our friendship escalated from there.

We were in classes together for a good three years after having met. In that time period we took part in the junior high and early high school dating scene off and on, and were on the phone so often that my dad figured it had become my personal property. Around the middle of our Sophomore year, however, Allen left to attend military academy. And without being able to see each other every day, we eventually lost contact.

After a couple of months of being out of each other's daily lives, we were no longer on one another's minds - until one night, somewhere around the end of summer vacation in between Sophomore and Junior year, Allen called me. I was so surprised to see his name pop up on my cell phone that I stopped what I was doing to answer, and from somewhere around 7 that night until 7 the next morning we talked. I'm not even kidding. We talked straight through the night, and it just seemed so natural.

From then on I was glued to the phone, and for a while there his family pretty much expected any call after school hours to be from me. We talked about anything and everything. And we were there for each other through everything. He eventually transferred back and the routine continued for (almost) the rest of high school.

On March 19, 2008, Allen killed himself. It was the one day that week that I didn't call him, but when he didn't answer the next day I didn't think anything of it. Not until his girlfriend called me later that night and told me what happened. I was devastated. I had never been so close to anyone in my entire life, at least not someone who wasn't family, and I didn't know how to cope. It messed me up for a long time.

Daniel (Boyfriend) was friends with Allen's brother. He hasn't lived with family since he was young, at least not permanently, and ever since he left his mom's house at about 13 (if I remember correctly) he has sort of hopped houses. One of those houses was Allen's, so he was practically a brother to him. He's the only guy I've been involved with since Allen's death who has completely understood my pain.

Then in March of this year, Daniel's dad died. He had been suffering from lung cancer, emphysema and chronic bronchitis, the results of being a heavy smoker for most of his life. I only got to meet him once before I learned he was sick, a few months before Daniel and I started dating, and probably only a few times afterward.

The last day I saw him was horrible. He was in his room in a hospital-style bed. He couldn't talk, could hardly move. We all stood around the bed and talked to him, and Daniel held his hand and had him feel my stomach. He told him that, should we have a boy, we were naming our baby after him. And though Daniel has an older brother named after his dad, everyone thought it was perfect.

And we're having a boy. That's why, Come October, will be naming our baby Mark Allen.

And while we originally wanted a name that would be much less common and much more original, I don't think we could have come up with anything better.

So I'm 25 weeks pregnant today - whoo! What's funny is that the pregnancy was flying up until I had my ultrasound, but the last week seems to have lasted a year. It's weird that it has, too, because I've been so busy, and the weeks that wouldn't slow down were filled with nothing but a computer screen, Netflix, and potato chips.

You would think me having something to do would have sped things up. Hm. It's probably just because I can actually plan things and I have an image in my head of what life is going to be like with Baby Boy, so now life has to torture me. That's probably it.

Now that we know - at least for certain rather than speculation - we have a lot more planning that we're able to do, and the things we have for the baby are starting to collect nicely. My shower is (almost solidly) scheduled for about a month from now, and so I'm currently working on getting invitations in order (considering that's all I'm actually allowed to do). I'm also in the process of tying up the last few things required of me by my medical, getting WIC, and getting a truck!

Okay, so it's not actually mine, it's my grandmother's (it belonged to my grandpa when he was alive, so it feels special), and it's going to be "on loan" until I can buy something for myself. But this means I can finally move in with Daniel! I've been going crazy trying to figure out how I could move in with no car or how we could make living on separate ends of town work with a baby (which is possible but sucky), so I'm ecstatic that (if everything works out) we're finally going to be able to do this without the worry of me walking to appointments all big-fat-pregnant in 100 degree weather. Lifesaver!

There's a lot of stress being lifted off my shoulder and (even though I know there's going to be new stress every day - jees, we're having a baby), things are starting to feel decently settled. I'm hoping everything keeps going well and that we can continue on to make even better situations for ourselves. Not having a car was a huge crutch for us - it has made it hard for Daniel to go about getting his license, which has made it extremely difficult to find him a better job, which makes it impossible for us to move to our own apartment in a better neighborhood and difficult to prepare for the baby. So this could (and hopefully will) change pretty much everything for us.

Onto other things: I got this bracelet in the mail a few days ago (the ones that reads 'Mommy To Be'); it's pink on the front and blue on the back, two-tone because I ordered it before we found out the sex of the baby. Considering we know now, I went back to the site and ordered an all-blue one and I'm hoping it comes soon. They're so cute! Free from babiesonline.com if you're interested. I don't have the exact link, though, so you'll have to Google it or something.

We do have a name picked out, by the way. It's actually been decided for a long time; we never really planned anything for a girl but had almost everything decided for a boy. We just had such a strong feeling that he was a he. Anyway, it's got a whole whopper of a story behind it, so I'll save it for another post.

Sorry I haven't been around much! Hoping to fix that from here on out, but we'll see. I still have a lot to do in the next few days.

How are all of you?

I'm 24 weeks today and finally, finally got my ultrasound. I've been dying for it. And guess what?

This is my son!

Okay, everything feels a little crazy now. I can't believe I get to say son. My son. I'm suddenly really aware of my heartbeat. :)

It's a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy-boy-boy!

I mean, Daniel and I were already pretty sure (it just felt like it). We've been joking that we know, but we need the doctor to know that we know. And now we know! And we were right!

I'm obviously really happy. I don't really know what else to say. I know there were things that I originally wanted to talk about, but I can't seem to remember them through the excitement.

Ahhh, finally! It's a boy!

Another dad moment. Note: he really wants me to have a girl.


Dad: Walks into the room and picks up a quarter. "Okay: heads and Taylor's having a boy, tails it's a girl."

Quarter: Heads.

Dad: "Best two out of three."

Quarter: Heads.

Dad: "Wait, this one's the magic flip!"

Quarter: Heads.

Dad: "Fine, this is a test. Heads and CJ is a boy, tails she's a girl."

Quarter: Tails.

Dad: Scowling at the quarter. "Let's try: tails I'm going to work tomorrow, heads I'm staying home."

Quarter: Tails.

My sister and I: Cracking up.

Dad: Pretending to glare. "Heads my kids are smart asses, tails they're not."

Quarter: Tails.

Dad: "Never mind, this quarter's broken."

Come October, we won't remember ever having wanted anything more than we do you.

Photo via Pinterest, editing is obviously mine.

It's Thursday - I'm 22 weeks today.

I started to write "I'm 22 weeks along" but for some reason it always bothers me to see the 'along' in there. Not that this sounds better, really, because I'm much older than 22 weeks, but it's just one of my quirks. Maybe...yeah, it's probably just me.

I decided to name this, considering I'm going to be doing it every week for...a while. I finally settled on 'Come October' since Little One is due in Oct of this year, because it's always been my favorite month, and because I'm already going crazy wanting to hold him/her.

How perfect is that? Well, I like it.

I only have to wait two more weeks until I know whether LO is a girl or a boy (as long as s/he's cooperating!) and I am going insane with anticipation.


On another note, let me just say that I'm so happy I gave up my bad habits for this baby.

My biggest problem was smoking - which I had been doing (quite heavily) since I was definitely not old enough to purchase cigarettes for myself. And then a couple of days after finding out I was pregnant (I had slowed down dramatically, but not stopped) I woke up and just decided that I wasn't going to anymore, and it wasn't the battle that it had been during previous quitting attempts. It wasn't challenge. It was like the day I decided to start: quick, smooth, and habit in no time.

Source: 4ormat-asset.s3.amazonaws.com 
via Hannah on Pinterest

As it were, I was young. I was stupid. And I told myself that I wasn't ever going to stop, pregnant or not. After all, I had friends who had delivered healthy babies, albeit small, after smoking the lengths of their pregnancies, so why shouldn't I?

But after I started thinking about the life inside of me, after I started falling head over heels in love, it felt like the cruelest thing I could ever do. I was amazed at how easy quitting was when I knew I wasn't just in charge of my own body anymore, but my baby's as well. And I can't believe I ever thought there was any other option.

I look back on who I was just a few short months ago and I'm really proud of myself. While I do feel incredibly guilty for those few days that I considered continuing, I'm happy that I came to the right conclusions and made the right decisions in the end. It truly comforts me knowing that I will always (at least try to) do the same in the future.

Hopefully this is proof that I won't be the terrible mom I've been afraid of becoming.