Oh, I'm going insane. I have a sort of friend (more an acquaintance) who insists on making shitty remarks constantly. About whatever she can think of, really. They're always involving things that she just doesn't need to bring up, especially considering these things shouldn't even be on her mind if she's really living life the way she pretends to be. Does that make sense?

And guess what the most popular topic is as of late? Pregnancy. Yup. It drives me fucking crazy.

The worst part is, when I told her I was seven weeks pregnant (or rather discussed it with her - I don't remember where she had heard it exactly), she was suddenly eight weeks, but insisted that she wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. She also boasted that, oh my god, she had actually planned her pregnancy, unlike all the other girls our age (she's actually a few years younger than me...sigh).

Now, though, she constantly posts about how she's so happy to be taking care of a boyfriend rather than a child, or about how great her life is because she's waiting - mystery baby unmentioned and comments always completely unprompted.

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe she actually was pregnant and something went badly, but I just can't. And I'm really sorry if I'm wrong about that. But she's the type who has had multiple pregnancies (supposedly), though only when she's trying to save a relationship or something of the sort. She hasn't a single baby, and after being mentioned exactly once or twice, the news of said pregnancies is always aloud to fade out until it's forgotten. And then it's never spoken of again.

She's also the type who has always jumped on things and made them her obsession for like two months, but then she gets bored and moves on. And I can't help but think that having a baby is the same thing for her. And that maybe her boyfriend doesn't want a kid or something, and that just drives her crazy. You know?

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Maybe I'm being an ass even saying any of this, but seriously? Even if it is some sort of situation where her pregnancies aren't working out and she's bitter about it, she doesn't need to make those of us who are having babies feel shitty, does she? She doesn't have to constantly be throwing in our faces how "miserable" our lives are going to be now that we have to change dirty diapers and clothes, wipe away slobber, chase after children. It's just not necessary. If she really is so happy without a baby in her life, she should move on from it. She should not keep bringing it up.

Also, at least acknowledge the good points. Our babies are going to bring us cuddles, laughter, that wonderful baby smell. Incredible love greater than anything we've ever experienced before. Overwhelming joy.

I'm glad that she's having fun partying and moving into her new apartment and spending uninterrupted-by-crying time with her boyfriend. I'm glad to hear that she has time to intern on top of her two jobs and that she's finding purpose in a profession. I'm happy for her, really. But my baby boy is going to give me purpose, and while he wasn't planned and I did have to give up late nights and numerous friendships and probably the expectation of having a moment alone from now until he starts kindergarten, I just can't regret him.

And really, there's nothing wrong with that. We all have our lives and we're not all going to live them the same. Can't we just respect each others'?


PS: Please forgive me if this sounds completely insensitive. I'm just so damn bothered by her constant need to make my life seem meaningless just because she's living hers differently.

First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of the new followers. It's been so lovely meeting all of you and actually receiving comments on the posts I write. It's refreshing after my past attempts at blogging, which spanned over the course of years and yet were never really read.


So today I drove down to my college and finally took the first steps into changing my major. I've been talking about it for a while now as I've been unhappy with English from the very beginning of my college career, even though it's always been my best subject.

Source: mycollegesandcareers.tumblr.com 
via Sarah on Pinterest

Here's the thing: about a year ago I walked into the college's Child Development Center and asked about volunteering. I didn't really have a reason and it wasn't going toward a job or school or anything, I just felt a need to try.

Basically the director told me that I had to take a basic Ch Dev class with the school and then I could come back and apply. I took the class, researched and wrote the speech for a pretty badass debate topic, passed with an awesome grade, and fell in love. I have wanted to delve further into the field ever since, but I never actually took the necessary steps. Until today!

I'm so happy I talked to the counselor. I've been feeling incredibly defeated lately, as my grades haven't been impressive (I was too unhappy with what I was doing to do it well), and I felt like I was pretty far behind. But I'm much further ahead than I thought I was, and actually only have maybe two or three more semesters of classes to do before I can graduate - and only because I'm planning to do it a little bit slowly, what with the pregnancy and the new baby and all.

Seriously...
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via Megan on Pinterest

I'm happy with my choice and I'm happy that I'm actually doing what I want to do. I started college before I really knew who I was and I definitely wasn't ready for it, but I at least feel a little refreshed today. I'm so ready for this!

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In other news, my bedroom TV is currently hooked up with the one in the living room so that I can watch Netflix without having the Wii hooked up in here - the only thing is, I have to watch whatever's playing in that room. My sister is currently in search mode typing in things like "Tay sucks" (that's me!) and "Barney" and other children's shows. And now we're watching Yo Gabba Gabba. My sister is sixteen.

My family is weird.