I'm officially in the third trimester!

84 days left until I'll (hopefully) have my baby here with me; that fact is both amazing and terrifying. I can't believe I'm going to be trusted with a little life...I really hope I do this right. I hope that I don't eff him up.

Source: weheartit.com
via Laura on Pinterest

I mean, of course not. I'm confident. (Pffft.)

I'm not even going to lie, I kind of really love being pregnant. I hated it at first, of course, because I hated being sick all the time. But now I know that I would absolutely do it all over again. I'd do it even if I was told that it was going to be absolutely the same sickness-wise (although I do hope that it won't).

I will say, though, that some days I feel so absolutely cute, and others I feel terribly disgusting. And sometimes I'll cycle through both (maybe back and forth repeatedly) within the same day, but whatever.

In the end, I really do love it all. And I'm going to love actually holding my baby and getting to feel his gorgeous skin a million times more than just being able to feel him kick through my own. Even though that already feels like the most magical thing in the world. Imagine that - a feeling that will outdo the best feeling I've ever known. Incredible.

I love you, Mark, and I love your daddy, so much that I could never properly explain it.



PS: Had to do my glucose test today. The drink didn't taste as awful as I expected it to, but it gave me a headache. And now I'm ridiculously tired. This might be written pretty horribly because I'm so out of it. I also totally fucked up while driving and almost got us side-swiped because my brain is just done for the day.

Also, Daniel got his permit yesterday. He'd been putting it off because he didn't feel like he was going to pass and he seems to just give up under pressure, but he did so damn well. I'm proud of him. And I took him driving today and he did very well with that, too. Except I was nervous and I think I made him nervous and he might have gotten irritated with me for it. I feel really bad.

Lastly, I've gained 11 pounds. I feel like an elephant, but the doctor kept repeating how good that was. He even turned to Daniel to tell him a few times. It felt a little strange, how hard he was trying to convince us of that.

Source: oldbrandnew.blogspot.com via Cecilia on Pinterest

Today I wrote a timeline for the baby. It's still in progress as it was thrown together pretty quickly, and I might have missed some things. I wish now that I had recorded more, but I'm not even sure what else to add. I'm new to all of this. Hopefully I get everything that I want to in the coming weeks.

I can't believe how close we're getting - and yet how long we still have to wait! It's not fair to feel this fat and to realize at the same time that you haven't even gotten into the months solely designated for your baby's weight gain. Sigh.

Anyway, I need to remember to backtrack through my blogs and make sure I have all of my milestones from previous posts included. I'm sure I forgot to put a few on my calendar. Hm.

Gees, nine months is a long time. Pregnancy sucks, and I don't want to wait for you anymore.

Sleeping before 4am is totally allowed, Self. And you might appreciate the thought after the baby comes. Why the hell are you spending your days tired while you still have the choice to sleep?

And wait, seriously? How are you keeping me awake? You're not even here yet.

Unwarranted pregnancy and parenting advice is bad enough without realizing that you're receiving it from women with no children of their own. Why, why do you people feel the need to do this?

Stop telling me what's going to happen and how I'm going to feel. It's not going to happen the exact same way for me.

Why is it that when you're pregnant, you suddenly feel the need to be friendly with other pregnant women (and women with infants)? I don't feel it in that 'I absolutely need to discuss parenting methods and our views on this and that and tell me your child's name even though we're never going to see each other again' kind of way, but I feel it in the way that you just have to make eye contact and smile like you have an unspoken bond. Is it just me?

At least there are no weird cravings. I just want a lot of fruit and fries and anything with cheese - but not together, they're just the things I want most often. I can't eat Mexican food or dairy (with the exception of cheese, for whatever reason). They have a plot against me.

I'm 5+ months and I don't feel all nice and pretty and pregnant, I just feel fat. I haven't gotten to wear adorable maternity clothes, I haven't gotten any stretchy jeans (although mine are getting a little bit tight - and not in a cute way...if that can ever even be cute). I just feel thick and bloated and gross.

Still, no matter how much I complain about being pregnant (mostly when I'm out and moving and there's a pain in the right side of my pelvis, which like always happens), I can't get over it. It's more amazing than anything. I love to feel my baby moving, and, even though it was one of my greatest fears when I was younger (I was really weird), I can't wait to birth this baby.

Source: flickr.com via Elaina on Pinterest

I can't wait!